Constructing a World on a Wound

What happens when we subconsciously construct our world on a wound?

It isn’t the best foundation. But it lasts surprisingly well…for a wound. 

Contorting to match the shape of a wound. We do this. The wound has certain demands on us. It knows where not to go and how to move away from, that which it avoids, masterfully. 

It can be decisive and accurate, but so, so limiting and small. It blocks the true essential self from getting too close to the unmentionable, the inaccessible, projection of pain. 

And these wounds come in every shape and size, completely non formulaic. Completely unpredictable. Yet we think we can figure them out without meeting them face to face and heart to heart.

Most wounds, as unique as they are, are wrapped in fear, anxiety, worry…some more debilitating than others. Some are wrapped in guilt, shame, self-hatred. The doorway into them is locked up and blocked by layers of survival mechanisms, defenses, false belief, unhealthy attachments, denial, minimizing, and an activated nervous system stuck in flight, fight, or freeze responses. 

So we build worlds of avoidance. Shaped by a wound. 

What if…

What if…

What if…

Don’t do this. Don’t do that. 

The wound is in there directing the show. And yet we don’t know it. Our brain is doing the best it can to keep us alive. That is in the human design. 

So we source problems with our mind, and solve them best we can. We learn to sooth with all of the helpful resources out there. And we carry on. Managing life. 

But what about living? 

There is a deepest part of you, an essence (we like to say) that always craves life. You will feel, hear, see this essence always longing and looking for truth, beauty, love, and that which you truly need. It knows. 

What are we missing by masking and marching on, doing the best we can? Contorting to the smallness?

Most of the time we feel okay. So what's’ the big deal? We can usually blame someone or something for our discomfort and miss that the pain is within us. Already there. Consistent and persistent. 

If we pay close attention to the pattern, we can start to see the pain inside. And how we avoid it. If you are in this process, and seeing the patterns that rob you of life, you can do the pre-therapy work gently gently my friend. You can learn more about pre-therapy here.

And then there is a point in doing this deconstructing of your world built on wounding, that you shouldn’t be alone. We aren't wounded in isolation and we don’t ultimately heal in isolation either. We need attunement and co-regulation, a witness, unconditional positive regard, safety, and help to heal. 

Before you get to a place that feels lonely beyond what you can bear, reach out for help. Don’t delay. There is a way. 

There are many paths to regulate and soothe, to temporary but real relief. And also to healing that is permanent, where the pattern stops. And you can’t find it again if you tried! It’s amazing, and worth the work.

Start where you feel an opening, an opportunity. 

Feel the freedom in every step as your wound world breaks open,

and you come home to yourself. 

Peace & Love,

Armandee