When your mind wonders, which is the mildest form of dissociation, you are not present, you are not in your body, and you cannot regulate your emotions. This is something you can be aware of anytime and start noticing your patterns, without the help of a coach or therapist. You can be your own inner coach here.
And…come home.
Come home to yourself.
Notice your pattern of daydreaming, wondering off, checking out. Just notice. How many times a day and how long are you checking out for? Where do you go? I noticed I go into the future. I plan the next vacation. I wander into nations and explore new things in my mind. Nothing too terrible, except that I’m not present. And presence is everything when it comes to healing.
You may also notice the ways you avoid being present through outward things you do, like alcohol, weed, tv, video games, social media, even cleaning. The list goes on. This is only a problem when you are in avoidance mode and leaving your emotions behind. Again, just notice and be a non-judgmental witness. Be curious. What is it that you avoid? Do you get numb and stop feeling? Or something else? What is our unique pattern?
Once you notice and explore your reasons, you can try out some remedies.
Grounding techniques are great for this. If you find that you indeed take a mental vacation from your inner world, you can practice bringing yourself back, in a gentle way. When the emotion inside feels too big to explore but you don’t want to completely avoid yourself, do something simple that gets you into your 5 senses.
Right now it happens to be April in Atlanta and it is beautiful outside. if you can get outdoors, slow down and take in your environment: touch your bare feet to the raw ground, smell some flowers or herbs, even grass, lean into a tree.
Touch the details of the bark, listen to birdsongs, taste something edible like mint or rosemary, observe the wind in the trees, the soft new leaves so green and fresh.
Pause and take in beauty, notice temperature and texture.
These sensory experiences ground you and return you to your body with the soothing presence of nature. When you start to center yourself in your senses you are less prone to distraction and dissociation, and more present and able to engage with yourself and be in your life.
Welcome home.
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